Linda's Legacy

It has been almost three weeks since the loss of my mom. I have decided to keep this blog going for the time being.

For those of you who may not have seen it, here is the link to her obituary:

http://www.beckerfuneralhomes.com/obituaries/Linda-Chernushin/


My dad, Shawn and I all want to thank everyone for the amazing outpouring of love and support. We are so touched by your thoughtfulness and generosity. We truly appreciate all the prayers, cards, food, donations, flowers, visits and phone calls. It has become even more evident just how beloved my mom was -- and still is. We cannot thank you all enough for everything you have done for our family.

We are all doing pretty well, all things considered. I know that she is still with us; I still feel her presence all the time. The grief comes in waves. This is true for all three of us. We hold it together, and then something triggers the tears. We are stronger than we ever thought, though. My mom made it clear that she loved us and we should have no regrets. She didn't want "a lot of nonsense or carrying on." :) So I know she is helping us stay strong and get through this. Thank you, Mom! We couldn't do this without you!

My dad is still on the hunt for the "perfect dog." He is very much a dog person, and I believe it will be a great help and comfort to have a lovable, furry companion to come home to. He is still coping with being alone in the house. But we are keeping him very busy -- helping out with "projects" at my house, going out to eat, etc.

Shawn is back to work and back home in Charlotte. It is hard not having him here, but Shawn and Jen will be coming back home to visit as frequently as possible. Thank goodness he got to spend so much time here a few weeks ago. He held the rest of us together with his logic and voice of reason.

I am back to my student teaching as well. I have about 4 1/2 weeks left. Then begins the job search. Between school, the girls, my projects for student teaching, trying to get SOMETHING done around the house, and helping my dad with the dog search, my schedule is packed and really helps keep me distracted.

I will update more on this blog, so check back. I know we will be participating in Relay for Life this year, so I'll share details about that when I have them. Our friends and family have also had some great ideas for ways to honor my mom's memory. More on that to come.

In the meantime, thank you again to all of our cherished friends and family. We especially appreciate all the memories you have shared with us of ways that my mom has touched or impacted your lives. It means more to us than you could know.

Love,
Kara

Our Angel

As most of you know by now, Mom went to be with the Lord on Tuesday, March 15. She had suffered long enough, and fought a valiant battle. She is our angel in heaven, and will be with all of us forever.

Love you so much, Mom!!!

Saturday, February 20, 2011

Well ... unfortunately, my worst fear was confirmed. Two weeks ago, I had been coughing up blood and called my pulmonologist. He ordered a C.T. scan and a bronchoscopy. The findings from the bronchoscopy were not what we wanted to hear. The beast is back -- this time in the bronchus/carinal/mediastinal areas. I spent most of last week with my radiation oncologist. Tuesday I will have a C.T. scan while they place markings on my body to ensure proper positioning for a PET scan, which I will undergo the next day. The decision is not yet final, but it looks as though I will be having some external beam radiation, possibly to be followed by Brachytherapy. I don't think we will be doing chemo this time around. It was just too harsh on my body. As usual, all prayers and well-wishes are most welcomed!!!

Love, Linda

Saturday

Well, I finally made it out of the hospital after being there for over a month. It was a long haul but I was so sick, it wasn't terrible being there. Thank heavens for my family & friends who took good care of me. I'm home with a feeding tube which I receive feedings continuously 24 hours a day. I'm hooked up to pump that delivers 30 cc's (one ounce) an hour. Then I try to eat what I can since the tube feeding is just supposed to be a supplement. It is a highly nutritional calorie and protein packed liquid. I have other news as well which I will post soon. Love, Linda

Latest News

Hello, everyone. I wanted to give everyone an update on my mom. She has been in the hospital for 2 weeks now. She has been having lots of trouble eating for the past year, and it has gotten much worse lately. She's lost so much weight and just cannot seem to gain anything back. Since she's been in the hospital, she has been on a constant intravenous regimen of Ativan (for nausea) and morphine (for pain.) She was doing well for a few days and actually gained weight, but then was sick and couldn't eat again after that. So, yesterday they finally inserted a nasogastric feeding tube. The plan is to wait a few days to gauge it's effectiveness and see how well she tolerates it, before discussing a more permanent tube which would be inserted through the abdomen. In addition, she will need to transition from IV meds to oral meds which can be maintained at home, before she can be released from the hospital. I will keep you all updated. As always, thank you so much to all of our wonderful family and friends for your prayers and good wishes.
xoxoxo,
Kara

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Tonight as I was sitting in the living room with Alan, Kara, Donny, & the girls, I heard some beautiful voices outside. We opened the front door and my friends from Northside surgery and X-ray were on the porch singing Christmas carols. What a beautiful surprise. To all of you who took time out of your very busy days, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. You sounded like absolute angels and it was so lovely to see everyone. Evidently, Kara, Donny & Alan were all in on the surprise and they kept it remarkably well. I have never been serenaded before and it was a delightful experience. I am going to be trying a medication that helps tighten the stomach & intestine and will hopefully help to empty it better. Then I won't have such a feeling of fullness and maybe can eat. I NEED to gain weight! Also, I'll probably be looking at more pain blocks. Hope it all helps. Shawn, Jen, & Cooper coming home next week. I can't wait. I continue to pray for each & everyone of you. Have a beautiful holiday. Linda

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I'm back and it seems like I haven't written forever. I had not been feeling well for a long time. I have a lot of pain, nausea, etc. all of the time. Well, last Friday, everything got out of hand. I had been up all night vomiting & becoming increasingly weak so we went to Emergency. The usual dehydration, needing fluids, needing potassium, trying to stop the vomiting was going on. After 11 hours in ER, I was finally admitted to a floor. I had begged for a private room, but since I had to be monitored, there were no private rooms. My roommate was quite ill and required constant, constant care. However, she seemed to be quite hungry. She wasn't allowed to eat after midnight, so she sent her significant other out to KFC and they ate until about 11:30 p.m. The worst part of that was the fact that I was so nauseated and all I could smell all night were the remains of the KFC. The alarm on her IV pump went off continuously, but she could not hear it. So, everytime her alarm or mine went off, I had to call the nurse. They also gave her several units of blood throughout the evening which added to the confusion. At 1:00 a.m., they decided to put a catheter in her, so all the overhead lights went on. At 2:23 a.m., the nurses aide came in to give her a bath to prepare her for an 8:00 a.m. surgery. I actually thought it was a joke, a bad joke. As, I held my head in my hands, sick as ever, they were having a nice discussion in bed B. Then we had vitals every time you turned around. I asked them to keep our door shut because of the noise in the hall. but that just wasn't happening. Each time they would bang in and out of the room, I would crawl out of bed, drag all my wires, my infusion pump, and get as close to the door as possible. I couldn't reach it, so I clung to the wall and kicked my leg backwards to shut the door, almost falling a few times. Then, the nurse would come in the room to see why my heart rate was so high. Then around 4:00 a.m., my nurse drew blood from the mediport only after the lab had come in and tried to draw it from an arm vein. More vital signs, staff coming in the room looking for equipment, etc. By the time Alan got back to the hospital before 7:00 a.m., I was ready to lose my mind. The Dr. came in and wanted a CT scan of the brain to try to figure out the nausea. It was relentless. I couldn't go down for the scan at first due to the nausea/vomiting. Finally, a little later that morning, after several IV meds, I made it downstairs. The scan came back negative, I got moved to another room, got a bit of sleep, and got some relief from the sickness. I went home Sunday afternoon. Thinks were OK until I woke up at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday morning with the same symptoms. Back to the ER where I spent the day getting fluids, potassium, pain meds, antibiotics, & anti-nausea meds. I went home that day and am trying to stay away from the hospital. Friday, I had my follow-up chest and abdomen CT scan and I had to drink a bottle of barium. I prayed it would stay down and not trigger the nausea again. I got through the test. Dr. Goldstein called me Friday night and said there was no indication of metastesis. Yay! He said lungs have a lot of fibrosis, they're taking a beating, but seem to be holding their own. That's related to the scleroderma. Still going to physical therapy for frozen left shoulder. I am trying to get up and walk around the house every hour to regain strength. I go to Pittsburgh Wednesday to see scleroderma Dr. This is quite lengthy, but I hope it updates everyone. Take care, Linda

Wednesday, November 17

Hi Everyone. Keeping busy with Dr. visits. I went to pain management where I received several trigger point injections in my back & side to try to alleviate some pain. Unfortunately, they gave me a very strong pill in the recovery room which made me sick for two days. I know they are trying to take away the pain, but I just can't tolerate the strong painkillers. Today, I went to the shoulder surgeon who injected my shoulder. I now have a frozen shoulder because the pain was restricting my activity. I will start physical therapy to try to regain some movement. They don't want to be very aggressive due to fracture risk from the osteoporosis. I'm going back to Pittsburgh in December to see the scleroderma specialist. They have created a scleroderma research center at UPMC, all of the latest info on scleroderma. I sure hope they have something out there that might help me. Carole, thank you for the gift card. I miss you & everyone in Surgery. Happy Thanksgiving, Linda

October 11, 2010

Everyone has been asking me to update the blog so I'll do my best. I went to the oncologist on Friday for a routine check-up. Everything seemed okay. I had blood work that was mostly normal and will just continue with follow-ups, scans, labs, etc. I will get my mediport flushed once a month to keep it patent. If all goes well and everything stays negative, I'll get the port out next April. I also went to another doctor today and he ordered all of the labs and a dexa scan to see if I am a candidate for Reclast. Since I am breaking bones by simply coughing, something needs to be done. I also have an ultrasound ordered for a questionable area in the abdomen, but I refuse to believe it could be anything. So basically, continuous tests and waiting for results. I'm still having LOTS of pain and losing weight. Anna, thank you for the cookies. They look delicious. We enjoyed visiting with Gary. We went to see Karlynn cheer tonight, but the game was called about 10 minutes after we got there because of the storm. Have a good evening, Linda

September 20, 2010

The surgery went well although I was quite sick for 24 hours. The pain seemed to have eased some and then I had some really bad coughing spells. I thought I might have broken something else because the pain got quite intense again. I had a x-ray at the Dr. today. He felt an MRI would be much more definitive, but I am not ready for another one of those right now. So, we are just watching the pain level for now. Janet & Carole, thank you for the gift cards. Jane, thank you for the mums-they're beautiful. I was wondering where they came from. Mo, as always,thanks for everything. Linda

September 8, 2010

I went to the Dr. yesterday and after having more X-rays and an exam, another fracture was discovered. This one is right above the other. The thoracic vertebrae at level 6 and 7 are fractured. I have significant osteoporosis from the events of the past year and at a big risk for broken bones. I will be having surgery at North Side Hospital tomorrow morning at 6:30. I'm still waiting for the nurses to call me with an arrival time but I am fearing it will be around 5:30 a.m. Dr. Pagano will be doing a kyphoplasty treating the two different fracture levels. Basically, they create a pathway into the bone with a hollow instrument, insert a balloon through this and inflate it to raise up the collapsed vertebra. Then the balloon is deflated, removed, and the cavity is filled with cement to support the bone and prevent further collapse. He'll do this on both sides of each fractured vertebra. I am really hoping this eases some of the pain I have been having. It's not fun having so much pain. I'll update after surgery.

September 1, 2010

The saga continues. I have been having an incredible amout of pain over the last two months and it was baffling to everyone. When I went to the pain management doctor, he ordered an MRI which I had done on Monday. He just called me this morning to tell me I have a compression fracture of thoracic 7 vertebrae. So now, I will be having surgery for that. The good news...no evidence of metastasis. The surgery should be minor if it's what I'm thinking. Of course, I still have to see the orthopedic spine surgeon. Linda

August 28, 2010

Time for an update. I have been having major pain for a long time so now I am seeing a pain mangement doctor. I saw him the day before we were going to Charlotte and he ordered some new & stronger medication. Unfortunately, I couldn't tolerate it and was nauseated the whole time I was on it. The drive to Charlotte was not pleasant as I was lying down sick in the back seat for eight hours. It was great seeeing Shawn, Jen, & Cooper, though. Anyway, I will be having an MRI on Monday and then make some decisions for pain injections based on the results. Maureen, thanks in advance for coming with us. I know Alan enjoys your moral support. Carole, thanks for the gift card. Your cards always make me laugh. I especially liked the amount of people you vacationed with...hilarious. Shawn, Jen & Cooper are coming home next weekend. Yay! I got to go to two of Karlynn's games and watch her cheer. She is just beautiful... and I am NOT biased :) So, this week is fairly quiet, some blood work, an MRI & a visit to the oncologist on Friday. Gregg, it was good to see you & Debbie. I hope your flight back to Texas was smooth. Stay cool down there. Happy Labor Day, Linda

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Well, it will soon be a year that I was diagnosed & not given much hope at all. I was thinking back over the past year and taking inventory. This list is not complete, but lets you know a bit of what went on last year. I had 5 surgeries, 5 emergency room visits (one by ambulance after an allergic reaction to chemo-I actually had 2 of those!) & 3 inpatient hospital admissions. I was examined, poked, prodded, etc. by the following: 3 cardiothoracic surgeons, 1 thoracic surgeon, 3 cardiologists, 2 general surgeons, 3 pulmonologists, 2 nephrologists, 1 radiation oncologist, 1 medical oncologist, 1 general practitioner, 1 audiologist, 1 gastroenterologist, 1 orthopedic surgeon, 1 neurologist & 1 rheumatologist.
I endured 19 weeks of chemotherapy, 6 1/2 weeks of radiation therapy and had 10 additional trips to chemo for replacement fluids for severe dehydration.I had 6 CT scans, 1 PET scan, 1 MRI, 1 bone scan, 2 ultrasounds, 3 2-D echocardiograms, 2 Holter monitors, EKG's, chest X-rays and countless lab tests. I had arterial blood gases, pulmonary function tests, several blood transfusions, an esophagram, esophageal transit study, gastric emptying test, & 3 rounds of physical therapy. I have significant hearing loss in both ears and some kidney dysfunction due to the chemo. I lost a lot of hair, had more pain, nausea & vomiting than imaginable and still have some shortness of breath. My esophagus doesn't work right and the lower esophageal valve is eroded away.
BUT, I'M STILL HERE!!! It takes more than that to stop me. Who needs 2 complete lungs anyway? I can still take walks with Alan & play with Karlynn & Mackenzie. I can brush their hair and watch Karlynn cheer. I can look into Karlynn's beautiful blue eyes as she reads to me. I can watch Mackenzie's sweetness & never ending energy. I can talk to Kara, Donny, Shawn & Jen anytime. I can enjoy my 2 grand-dogs Cooper & Marley. Smelling the fresh cut grass, looking at the clouds in a gorgeous blue sky, enjoying the flowers, talking to friends and family, going to church and doing my crossword puzzles...what could be better than that? My next goals are to watch Karlynn cheer at her very first game and a trip to Charlotte next month to see Shawn, Jen & Cooper. Can't wait, Linda

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hi Everyone. It's been a sad week. My brother-in-law has been quite ill and passed away Tuesday evening. He fought a long and courageous battle and never complained. We were able to be with him and help take care of him and I am so thankful for that. So, this will be a hard weekend for my sister and we will be there to support her. Last Saturday, he (my brother-in-law) asked if Shawn & Jen had brought Cooper home with them. He loves dogs and was able to see Cooper one last time. Karlynn was so sweet and said they would bring Marley (their dog) over to visit him as well. Linda

July 10, 2010

Hi Everyone. I went shopping today-that was exhausting! I am looking for a dress that actually fits. So many of them have little straps and my mediport was sticking out like a sore thumb. Kara was practically dressing me, I was sooooo tired and out of breath. Finally, the LAST one I tried on was good. I told her that was the one, let's just get it! I had to go out and sit in the car while she paid. She's a lifesaver. That's something I never had to do-plan my wardrobe around a port. Oh well, another little challenge. Anna, thank you for the delicious dessert & gift card from you and your family. That was so kind. Dr. C, the flowers are absolutely gorgeous and we love them. Tomorrow is Kara's birthday. There is nothing I could ever give her that would ever come close to what she has given me over the past year. Shawn, Jen & Cooper are coming home next week and I am so excited. They, along with Alan, never gave up. So many of you would not let me quit during my darkest hours. I will always be grateful. Love, Linda

July 8, 2010

The results of my CT are back and there are no new tumors! There was something that I did not tell very many people. When I had my follow-up scan in April, it showed two new nodules in my right lung that hadn't shown up in January. They were microscopic at that time and we had to just wait and see what happened. They were too small at the time to treat. We were all so anxious for the last three months. It was terribly difficult to think there might be further metastasis. Every new pain caused more nervousness & suspicion. It is safe to say that we were all pretty much a wreck. Through it all, the cards kept coming, inspirational messages and phone calls, and the prayers never stopped. Alan & Kara were with me at the Dr. for the results and Shawn was standing by his phone in NC. As we sat in the waiting room, the Dr. was behind the glass in the office giving us a huge thumbs-up. I must have been staring into space because the next thing I knew was Alan & Kara were both nudging me and telling me to look at the Dr. I immediately grabbed their hands and couldn't believe I was about to get good news. Once we went into the examining room and he came in, he said the nodules had disappeared. There was really no explanation. I know what it was, a miracle! All of your prayers were answered and I am so grateful.Linda

July 5, 2010

Hi Everyone. Tomorrow is the day that I have been thinking about for the last three months. It's CT day. The nephrologist wanted to admit me to the hospital prior to the test for IV fluids. He wants me totally hydrated to stop any further damage to the kidneys from the IV dye. I bargained with him not to get admitted. I asked him how much I needed to drink today to thoroughly hydrate myself. He told me 2,400 cc's. So here I am on my fourth eight ounce glass of H2O. I have six to go! Mo, thanks in advance for coming tomorrow and always being there for us. Carole, thanks for the gift card. Shirley, thanks for the endless succession of inspirational messages. The last group you sent was beautiful. I took it to the hospital and gave it to my brother-in-law & sister to comfort them. He is gravely ill. Teri, I never saw a card like the one you sent in my life-you looked long & hard for that. As always, I want to thank everyone who never forgets about me & my family. Praying, calling, & showing love & compassion in all you do. My angel network is a great one. Linda

July 1, 2010

The nephrologist is slowly decreasing my magnesium & potassium supplements. I thought he might discontinue them totally, no such luck. He was more concerned with the weight loss. So, now my "food patrol posse" is at work again trying to feed me all the time. Ugh! I've been trying to get out more, walk, be more active, etc. I'm still plagued by pain and shortness of breath. Next week is a very stressful week. CT scan of chest & abdomen on Tuesday, visit the pulmonologist on Wednesday, and appointment with the oncologist on Friday. It's very nerve-wracking waiting for these scans. I just try to keep busy and go day by day. I am going to hand therapy now which is going well. The incision is healing nicely and I have most of my movement back. Enjoy the Fourth of July. Linda (Heather, your baby is such a sweet little guy.)

My blog is finally working

Welcome back, everyone. I have been unable to get on my blog and I know many people have been having problems viewing this. Kara diagnosed the problem, the background on my blog was keeping the site from loading. I hope it's OK for everyone now. A quick update...I had my surgery on June 11th. Everything went well. Basically the esophagus is not working and the valve that should be at the bottom of the esophagus is worn away. This is due to the scleroderma, and helps to explain my difficulty eating and digestive problems. The surgery on my finger went well. I went to get the stitches out this morning. The Dr. said everything looked good and I started on my hand therapy this morning. My worst problems at this time are shortness of breath and pain. I go back to the nephrologist tomorrow. My magnesium & potassium levels were drawn on Monday and they look good. Hopefully, I can decrease or discontinue the supplements. As always, I thank everyone for the continued prayers & good wishes. I appreciate them so much, Linda